Hello fellow bloggers, readers and writers!! I hope you all are doing great. This is the first time I have tried my hand in writing a short story. I hope you like it. Feel free to give me your feedback in the comment section below. Have a nice day!!!
Nora was already getting late and the rain was making things worse. It was really hard to drive at night in such weather. Tightening her grip on the steering wheel, she tried to concentrate on the road. Zayne must be getting worried for me, she thought. He had already called three times. It had been four years since they were together, and since then she never missed a chance to make him worry about her. He worries because he loves you, Nora, just like you love him, she thought and smiled to herself. There was a blind turn and a sudden flash of glaring headlights. That was all she noticed before a truck rammed into her passenger side. Her car flipped over several times and fell into a pit at the side of the road. Broken glass was everywhere and air smelled funny. She tried to open the window and make her way outside. She wasn’t feeling anything, not even pain. Her thoughts were in turmoil and it was Zayne’s smiling face that came into her mind before everything went black.
* * * * * * *
Nora tried to open her eyes slowly and saw her messed up car. With some effort she stood and began to check her body for injuries. She still didn’t feel any kind of pain. She touched her arms, legs and then head. Still nothing. Just some dust and dried mud on her clothes. No injuries. If it wasn’t for the messed up broken car in front of her, she would have thought that crash didn’t happen at all. All she felt was some unfamiliar fatigue. It was morning now and the rain had stopped. She climbed out of the pit, slowly walked towards the road and thought about calling for help, but she couldn’t find her phone. She had to go home first and make sure Zayne wasn’t losing his mind worrying. It’d been whole night. He must have informed the police. She saw a car at the distance and raised her arm to get lift. The car stopped and the windowpane rolled down on the passenger’s side. An old lady was on the driver’s seat……………….TO BE CONTINUED
©sakshi~the escapist, 2017
Image: Pixabay
Wordland Voyage 
Nicely done! From a practical point of view I might suggest breaking it up into four or five sections and posting them separately. I think you will get more readers that way. A lot of people might be put off by the length. Even if you post all the sections on the same day, or on consecutive days, it doesn’t matter. With fiction, I’ve found more readers from shorter posts. I hope this helps and I’m not teaching you how to suck eggs!
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Thank you Ben. I really appreciate your honest feedback. I am still a newbie so I am in a dire need of this kind of guidance. So thank you once again. Have a nice day!! 😊
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No problem! I didn’t want to be patronising, but thought it might help. Good luck with it 🙂
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No, no. It wasn’t patronizing in any way. As a writer and blogger yourself, you understand it and you helped. It means a lot.
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Well done, dearie! As a hook, this is nicely done. The suspense introduced in the last para will ensure the reader goes to the next part. I agree with what the first commenter says though. Break it up into paras so that the reader gets a break. The story sounds like it’s a paranormal romance. Going over to the next part to see if I’m right 😉
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Thanks a lot, Pradita. You brightened my day honey.
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As did you 😊
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Babe, finally I’m here. I didn’t know you have posted it here..Wonderful start dear..I expect this to be a thriller..
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Thanks dear! Well…you’ve to find out yourself! 😉
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😊😊😊😊
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